While watching “sports journalist” Keith Olbermann recently belittle and sneer at NASCAR fans recently, I was happily reminded of the ending moments of Terminator 2. You remember. It was the bit where the T-1000 falls in the lava, begins to melt away into nothing but before it does, the villain morphs into all the personas it had to take on to survive as it wails away in its death throes. Keith, meet career. The creepy Ed Murrow fixation, the worst person in the world (oh, by the way asshole, it’s you EVERY night) and the snobby bullshit. It’s over. Even the mentally deranged left-wing elitist disease carriers that used to support this third tier weirdo are gone. Note to self, reminder to send this article to my ex father-in-law.
As Jimmy Kimmel once put it, “Keith has burned more bridges than the arsonist of Madison County.” Seriously. You’ve hit level nine scrotum rot status when you’ve essentially been fired by Rupert Murdoch AND Al Gore.
For those of you too young to know, Keith got to put on his big boy pants mainly during his stay at ESPN the first time. He had a great thing going with then co-host Dan Patrick. The “big show” as it was called was a decent one hour block of Sportscenter that was informative, a bit snarky and yes, entertaining. Yet, somewhere in his chemically unbalanced teenager mindset, Olbermann self destructed because that’s primarily what raging egomaniacs do.
After pissing most of the paymasters off at ESPN, Keith tried to pick up the pieces over at Fox Sports, which ended in his outright sacking. Effectively ran out of sports, Keith decided it was no use trying to disguise his ideological bullshit and went to MSNBC. Unveiling his pure hatred for anyone remotely disagreeing with his politics or world view, he made some gains, for a bit, anyway. His long-winded, vapid vitriol of anything less than a liberal kook wore thin almost immediately. After poking fun night after night at “competition” Bill O’Reilly’s The O’Reilly Factor on Fox News, Olbermann saw his venture slaughtered in the ratings by a better product. Simply put, Olbermann poked the bear, which nonchalantly turned around and mauled him. When his act ran stale, Olbermann fled to the Current channel and the arms of owner Al Gore.
Now, ordinarily one would think a narcissistic buffoon and a bullshitting side-show barker would be a match made in liberal purgatory, but that’s reality for you. One minute you’re grifting folks on the television, the next, you’re the punchline to a party that basically pulls people off the street into office. Nevertheless, Olbermann was cast down with the hippies and transients as he watched his peers do nothing but ascend. Dan Patrick would leave ESPN to develop his own successful brand and host NBC’s Sunday Night Football and Rich Eisen would head up the NFL Network. Not Keith, however.
A case study of the sad sack, Olbermann had torched so many relationships in the industry he was a liability to any network with a working camera. The man’s story reads like a cheesy Hollywood script. Man has talent, man gets famous, man’s bullshit circus act implodes his chances of success everywhere he goes. A man I respect once told me of Olbermann, “Keith is the smartest guy in his own head. In reality, he’s too goddamn dumb to keep his fucking mouth shut.” Pretty much nails it all down.
This brings us to Keith’s most recent attack on the sport of NASCAR which I won’t bore you with, since unlike Olbermann, my readers actually pay attention to what I have to say. Simply put, it was KO’s usual spew about how NASCAR drivers aren’t real athletes, since quite obviously that benchmark is clearly set by 56-year-old sports newsmen. Following his “reporting”, KO took to Twitter to insult anyone that’s every watched a NASCAR race by telling them to leave the country. His geographically bigoted rant insulted not only fans from the southern states but Canada as well. Kudos to Keith for remaining in such an early 1970’s mindset, since he obviously has no clue what makes up the current fan base. Case in point? He raged against “rednecks” but then decided to attack California’s Jeff Gordon, one of the sport’s most well-spoken ambassadors. As I said, Terminator 2. Death throes. You get the idea. Watching Keith argue and hang himself on social media has become so commonplace, it’s largely ignored now.
Me? I never even got the chance. You see, so frightened of the Tony Stark of blogging was Keith, he blocked me on Twitter. Mind you, never had I once sent a message to the man. For those of you not familiar with Twitter, blocking someone is basically slamming the door on the other person’s face and hiding all responses. Usually it’s done when you have a spat with someone and refuse to deal with them anymore. In my case, Keith blocked me without even an interaction. On Twitter, that action is reserved for the biggest folks that resemble an area of the female anatomy. Yeah, there’s the truth of the whole matter: Keith is a 200 plus pound, 56-year-old pussy. Then again, I don’t fit Keith’s narrative of a NASCAR fan. I’m from the north, can hold a more intelligent conversation than his closet limousine liberal asshole friends can provide and oh yeah, people actually like me.
Keith on the other hand, is the guy you leave off the party list because you just can’t deal with his bullshit for more than forty seconds.
In a way, however, I’m glad Keith is so threatened by a guy like me. I’m part of a media that has left trundling dinosaurs like Olbermann behind, plodding off into the sunset of a career that will be largely ignored by almost everyone. His day old bread schtick has worn thin with the entire sports populace and more than likely, the paymasters at ESPN. Let’s be honest, there’s an Alanis Morissette level irony to Olbermann’s show airing on ESPN 2, or as it’s lovingly know as, “the deuce”.
There really is no benefit from hearing someone such as Olbermann prattle away anymore. He’s been replaced by a younger, more interesting crowd. Since Keith is such a fan of stereotyping, I’m wondering if a self-centered jack hole could apply such honesty to himself. Of course, he cannot. So, I’ll do it for him.
Keith Olbermann is a doddering old coot, pissed off at a younger generation for jumping his claim. Driven by such primal hatred of people different from himself, KO spews his toxic language to hide the fact that he’s mentally damaged and even more troubling, shows how dark and twisted a corrupted human mind can become if paid enough attention. Listen closely to his broadcasts and you can hear him cough “Gollum…gollum”. Keith Olbermann is the crazy grandpa yelling at you to get off his lawn, only if the lawn wasn’t his and in another town. As it has been put, if hate were people, Keith would be China. One can only wonder how long a network like ESPN will tolerate Olbermann’s insults to NASCAR’s fan base, you know, since said network paid millions to air said sport.
Personally, I’ll stand up and clap the day ESPN unloads Olbermann for the second time. I only hope it erupts into a Bob Sugar/Jerry Maguire scene where a guy half Keith’s age tells him to hit the bricks.
Or better yet, some “redneck”.