Celebrity Shitbag of the Month: Piers Morgan Edition


One of my worst mistakes happened a few years back when I text tackled Madonna for ripping up a picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live.  Yeah.  A reader caught the mistake and brought it to my attention in a civil manner.  I immediately corrected, retracted and apologized.  It was not intentional.  I saw clearly in my mind Madonna doing the act, right where Sinead O’Conner should have been and I was furious at myself.  Just like Piers Morgan should have been, recently.

Morgan has tried to make his show Piers Morgan Live on CNN revolve around guns, more importantly gun control, for quite some time.  Using almost any gun related episode as a backdrop, the snobby Brit sneered at Americans from behind the safety of a television camera, shaming us all for acting not as civil as he.  His shows mainly came off bland, ignorant and clearly aimed at some minor resistance viewership that were hungry for an American bashing “news”  show.  Morgan had become CNN’s Keith Olbermann doppelgänger, only with less spittle in the corner of his mouth and no knowledge of how many home runs Micky Mantle has hit.  What is most disturbing  is the way Morgan lit up on social media every time a tragedy happened, fed by the possibility of eeking out a positive showing on the overnights.  One could almost hear him say, “damn, that’s going to make brilliant television.”  That is, until the Navy Yard shootings.

Morgan sprang into action when a spineless 34-year-old gunman went on a shooting spree at the Washington Naval Yards and like any self-serving ghoul, Morgan and a few other members of the media began rain dancing for the possibility that an AR-15 “assault rifle” was used.  All it took was for “a source” to mention the rifle, and CNN took the bait like a large mouth bass in a plastic kiddie pool.  In fact, you can read their ridiculous article here, which they have still failed to correct.  Once again, I digress.

A mere whiff of the fabled AR-15, and Morgan began mapping out his programming for apparently many shows to come.  Morgan was salivating over his potential workload when he ignored the first rule of journalistic mining, and began to dig.  He broke ground with this gem:

As we all know now, that fateful tweet would come back to haunt Morgan, who is no stranger to journalistic malpractice.  The FBI would later find there was no AR-15 used by the shooter.  Factually inaccurate, false, untrue.  So, like the greasy little marmot he is, Morgan switched gears over the next 24 hours and changed the narrative to “what does it matter what gun was used?”.  When that failed, Morgan scurried to an interview on his show with Rick Warren and wife, leaning more towards mental illness.

Sloppy and disjointed, it only took a few moments to see this was not the show Morgan had intended to run with.  Yet,  without his literal smoking gun there would be no televised town hall meeting. No weeping mothers to point to for the purpose of shaming law-abiding Americans.  Piers Morgan, legend in his own mind, was shit out of luck, and facts.  A mere 48 hours later Piers had dropped the Naval Yard shootings altogether, interviewing Billy Ray Cyrus, who true ThrowDown fans will remember won last month’s Celebrity Shitbag award.

You’d think a man who had been caught faking photos of British soldiers torturing an Iraqi would have learned a lesson, especially after being fired for the inexcusable deed.  But not Morgan.  No, Morgan like many other “journalists”, believe even if the facts aren’t quite right, people are more likely to  believe what they hear or read first, facts be damned.  There would be no apology, retraction or correction.  Morgan decided in an age where social media never forgets to let it all blow over.  This time, though, Morgan had dug too deep.

News zealots like Morgan are clueless to the damage they do to reporting when they skew the truth to their will.  I’ve always believed in strong opinions coupled with facts, but  I more than certainly could have played by Morgan’s rules and filled this article with falsehood.  Make up anything you want.  I got it from a “source” so it must be true.  The bogus AR-15 story should have been enough to have Morgan’s things waiting for him in a box outside the CNN studios that night.  However, since CNN is just as crooked as Morgan, the charade continues.  Journalism is dead.  It just needs a toe-tag and a T.O.D.

And still as of today, Morgan is trumpeting how well his show did on a single night.  Yet, several sources have now confirmed with Morgan’s contract coming up, a “more American” host is being sought after by CNN to replace Morgan (rumor has it that Katie Couric is being considered).  That doesn’t mean Morgan will be released outright.  CNN may offer him a lower salary, and stick him on mid-mornings, making brownies with whatever blonde bobble-headed ex weather girl they decide to pair him with.  No matter how you slice it, Morgan is finished.  The most sensible route for this discredited jerk is to head straight for Al Jazeera America, where his hatred for our country can stir the pot for other like-minded crazies.  If not, maybe he should be practicing his most shocking statement yet:  “You ARE NOT the father!”.

Piers Morgan, you’re The ThrowDown’s Celebrity Shitbag of the Month, finally.  Now fuck off.


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Filed under Mishmosh Ranting, Television

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