Celebrity Shitbag of the Month: Kanye West


I’d make that face too, if I had to hold Kim Kardashian’s purse all the time.

I couldn’t have asked for a better person to land as our inaugural Celebrity Shitbag of the Month.  I had my fingers crossed maybe Jim Carrey would go off his meds and make another anti-gun video, but in the middle of May, the great one landed the prize two weeks before the deadline.  Enter trundling dumbass Kanye West.  Not even a close race, Kanye threw a bitchy little diva rant at his NYC concert about not being a “real” celebrity and netted what has now become The ThrowDown’s top prize.

A few weeks ago during said concert, Kanye decided to inform concert goers he was sick of the paparazzi, and kissing people’s babies, whatever the hell that meant.  Kanye continued on to inform the populace that he makes music to inspire people and bring the best out of them.  Obviously, he was referring to his highly inspirational titles as “Get’cha Some”, “Poppa was a Playa” and “Wack Niggaz”.  Yeah, Kanye.  You’re a regular Steve Bedwell alright.

Yet, Kanye must have sensed he could let our prestigious award slip away to a mentally unbalanced Amanda Bynes, and appeared on Saturday Night Live to perform two songs off his upcoming album “Yeezus”.  The two songs were titled “Black Skinhead” and “New Slaves” quite obviously since nothing says “slave” like having millions of dollars to your name and pretty much morphing into a Kardashian.  The songs were meant to agitate, since West really has no other angle to make his music interesting and were just more anti-capitalistic bullcrap.  But, having a fan base composed of 15-year-old malcontents, Kanye has to sell his narrative of being held down by the man to keep selling records.  If he really wanted to support the socialist lifestyle, he’d be giving concerts for free and making his albums public domain.  Oh, but don’t hold your breath for that to happen, Kanye needs another gold toilet.

Personally, I love the fact this guy keeps making Jesus references to himself, like he’s actually done something to actually benefit another human being.  It’s just more noise from a guy that wants to troll Christianity since he doesn’t have the balls to attack any other religion.  Personally, I would have had a minor amount of actual respect for this dick if he named his newest offering “Yohammad”.  Eh…no I wouldn’t.  He’s still just an insolent dick.

So, rounding out the month of May, how did Kanye double down on his penis-like behavior? Why, by trying to project his image on The Alamo while playing music off his new album.  The entire event was a catastrophe and Kanye’s disrespectful circus was cut off before it ever even began, because the proper permits hadn’t been filed.  In this case the proper permits being a license to behave like a teenaged dickwipe racist with little regard to other people and their cultures.  Yes, I called him a racist.  Kanye West indeed hates white people, which the ignorant fool probably learned his white hating ways from his father who was indeed a Black Panther, so the apple indeed doesn’t fall far from the tree.

The most humorous thing about Kanye West is that he apparently doesn’t even understand his public perception.  When the President of the U.S., Barack Obama called him a “jackass”, I’m not sure Kanye fully understood that most adults found him to be an incoherent dope that became even more hilarious when his long-time friend Jay-Z started moving away from West and more towards Justin Timberlake.  No matter how hard everyone tries to clue him in, Kanye West just can’t seem to get the fact he’s the punch line of a massive inside joke.

Personally, I can’t wait for the karma hell that Kanye West is about to enter.  Now the father of a future Kardashian, Kanye is going to have to live under the dark queen Kris Kardashian’s evil empire with no hope of escape.  He’s going to be kept as a neutered pet, following a half step behind princess Kim, holding her bags and scowling at the press that only wants a humor shot of Kanye being reduced to family bagman.  If you thought Kanye was angry before, wait until he becomes an inmate in the prison without walls.

You’re right, Kanye.  You’re not a real celebrity.  You’re The ThrowDown’s Celebrity Shitbag of the Month, and maybe I’ve misinterpreted your new album.  Perhaps your new song “New Slaves” harkens to your not so distant future.  Welcome to slavery, Kanye.  Kardashian style.


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Filed under General Misbehaving, Mishmosh Ranting, Music

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