POSTING BY JB MADDAWG
Two years ago, right around this time, my life fell apart. Not just derailed, changed direction or hit a speed bump. Fell apart. Between February and May, I would slowly lose almost everything. Wife, house, a friend and pretty much everything I’d worked hard for. Even a full court press would be put on my daughter to slowly let go of me. Here’s the awful thing…I didn’t cheat, drink, do drugs, abuse anyone or got to jail. The only thing I was guilty of was becoming complacent in my marriage. For that, I was for lack of a better term, gas-lighted. It is a process to slowly break down a spouse, with the goal to drive your mate out of the house, and possibly, out of their minds. They have full pamphlets on the subject at many women’s abuse centers, but for males, no such support exists. We are just expected to tough it out.
When I couldn’t handle it anymore, the last night I would ever occupy my home, I shook a diamond necklace at my ex-wife and spat out, “you do not deserve to wear this anymore”. The necklace was a Christmas gift for my wife, and apparently was going to be a parting gift for herself while she schemed. I viewed it as a symbol of how my wife truly viewed me…just a paycheck with no emotional tie. It was the only thing of value I would have as I moved back into my parent’s home, in my late thirties.
What does this have to do with an entertainment based blog I created? Everything. This blog represents everything about me. It has been widely popular, forgotten about, reborn and rebuilt even better than before. It is me. And the two friends that blog here with me, Big Angry and John Rantavius, not only helped this blog, but also were directly responsible for rebuilding me.
John Rantavius was the man that sprung the idea. He encouraged me to restart the page, and retool it with his technical ideas…bigger, faster and stronger. Kind of like “The Six Million Dollar Man”, without the slo-mo and 70’s music. He gave me his old iPhone, because he wanted me to be easier to reach. He’s a grouch, unreasonable and would have everyone believe he has no soul. That’s why he has me share his table with his family at Thanksgiving every year. You be the judge.
“Big Angry” Jay Richards is funny. I was the one that nicknamed him that, and even he doesn’t realize the real reason. Upon hearing some of the atrocities my wife subjected me to, on Father’s Day no less, Jay proclaimed “he was angry enough for a road trip to visit my ex”, just to set a few facts straight. Jay is actually a calm, well-read guy…but piss him off, and he will easily common sense someone to death. While many people attend a church and see themselves as walking a path to God, Jay Richards does neither of these things. And in my opinion, he doesn’t need to. I’ve seen an entire congregations that could learn a lesson from Jay, and I look forward to watching him turn into a jaded old man. Just kidding, big guy.
As for me, at my lowest point a couple of years ago, I hugged my daughter and told her that everything would be alright, when I wasn’t sure myself. I knew if I retreated from life, it was over for me. Instead, two years later, I found myself chatting with Mimi Rogers about the film industry, and about to head home to my own apartment, complete with all that stuff that I used to value. Yes, my little girl, everything is alright. In fact, things are better than they have been for a very long time.
I kept the necklace for you, because you refused to “just give up” on me for no good reason. I cannot wait for that day, when I present it to you.
Thank you all so much for continuing to read The ThrowDown. We are back, and plan on 2012 being our best year of all.