But Will Siri Fetch the Paper?

Siri, Voice Activated Personal Assistant


When the Apple iPhone 4s was released, I thought it would just be yet another iPhone with a better camera and a whiter shade of white.  Wow, was I wrong.  Not having a iPhone with such new fangled technology, I wasn’t aware the latest offing would have a voice recognition system in place that was all servant like.

Enter Apple’s Siri.  Not to be confused with Tom Cruise’s daughter with a different vowel,  the little tech gremlin inside your newest iPhone gets whatever your little heart desires, without bitching about union rules or retorts such as “get it yourself, lazy ass.”  That’s right,  speak it and it Siri will make it so.  The system can react to the way it’s owner speaks, and quickly dig through all the cyber gunk on your phone to come up with kindly old Mrs. Thorkleson’s phone number.  Or que up  your favorite music.  Or pull up your pictures.  All by the sultry sounds of your own voice.

Sure, in theory, this sounds wonderful but we all know how voice recognition has been in the past.  Plenty of major services, i.e. the phone or cable company, have employed this system at their call centers.  I can’t count how many times I’ve gotten into an argument with a system, while onlookers gaze at me yelling stuff like “no, you stupid *&%$#ing computer, I did not authorize you to order the premium package.  And while you’re at it, tell Rachel McAdams to get a goddamn life and stop calling me”. (Sorry, little past post joke.)  The worst part is, hearing the sweet little compu voice respond so smugly, “I’m sorry, could you repeat your last request?”  Sure I can.  I just hope it knows the seven words you can’t say on television.

Have there been reports of Siri not working correctly, already?  Of course.  Bugs are a side effect of new tech, it’s the way it’s always been.  Several consumers are already complaining that Siri needs to connect to the Apple network to do simple things like sending a text, and finding your location.   “Sorry, I’m having trouble connecting to the network” seems to be a common message from Siri, but that doesn’t mean Apple isn’t all over the issues.  They had problems with the batteries, and fixed them.  I don’t see this as any different and is no excuse to run and purchase some regurgitated version of the RAZR.

I must say I’m a bit afraid of this new system.  Has Apple changed the way I run my life?  Absolutely, and I have no reason not to trust them now.  Touch screens and phone applications, plus syncing were all things I was terrified of in the past, but Apple showed me how a real company can do all that stuff right.  I’d love to have one of the new phones, and would love it even more if Apple would send me one, better yet three, since we all use Apple products here at The Throwdown, so that we can more accurately review the product.  I’m not joking.  Send us free shit.

In short, I’m willing to throw my hat over the wall and give Siri a chance.  My concerns are probably that of someone who has seen technology fail in far less capable hands.  All one has to do is look at the new Amazon Kindle Fire and realize that waiting ten minutes for the internet browser to activate isn’t exactly cutting edge.  It seems as if it goes as advertised and designed by Apple soon, we’ll be hearing from the creepy guy two seats over on public transportation, “Siri, get me porn, and none of the cheap stuff.  Top shelf only.”

I’m JB, saying “Siri, Throw your own ass Down.  Then, please rip me a copy of Dallas, Season 4”.


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Filed under General Misbehaving, Technology

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