POSTING BY JB MADDAWG
Facebook. The big F. The social network that helps pair long-lost relatives, reconnect old classmates, stokes the flames of lost loves and feeds the poor. Well, not exactly.
Yep, everybody on Earth is so in love with Facebook, we’d give up jobs, marriages and outside life, just to be a part of it. That may be the most depressing thing I’ve ever written, and sadly, it is terrifyingly true. Let’s face it, every day, relationships end over some idiot getting virtual roses, pokes and God knows what else from just “some Facebook friend.” Uh huh. Like nobody can figure out what all you Mister Lonelyhearts/Wisconsin Housefraus are up to.
That’s only the tip of the iceberg, however. Many companies are now extremely savvy in finding out just what type of person they are potentially about to hire, just by a few clicks and help from the Devil Incarnate, Mark Zuckerberg. Before you even start with the “that’s not fair” tantrum, I’ll remind you all is fair in love and hiring. Have some photos of yourself snorting lines of coke off a hooker’s ass on Facebook? Guess what, buddy, kiss that prestigious hedge-fund gig goodbye. That, friends, is the way this world works.
It doesn’t even have to be your photo. All it takes is for one of your pals to tag you in a pic, and bingo! You’re famous…or, infamous. Sure, I’ve heard all the tired arguments. I once had a discussion with a guy half my age in a public venue that seriously looked at me and quipped, “I don’t care, I don’t have a thing to hide. Let everybody look.”
Everybody? How about the good folk at the F.B.I.? I have not one, but two connections with the G-men, and one of them couldn’t stress how expeditious I should be in removing my Facebook account. Just a bit of background for you, the first director of the F.B.I., J. Edgar Hoover, was a man who I was once told by someone close to me “had the goods on everybody. Everybody. Hoover would have loved to have Facebook as a resource.” It wasn’t some idle chatter in a bookstore coffee shop. The source that told me this information I would label as extremely reliable. That’s what scared the living Hell out of me. After being told just a couple of false identity scenarios from this person, I went home, and basically let Facebook know, their services were no longer required.
It doesn’t matter what someone has to hide or not, what it really boils down to is how it appears to others. Need more substance? How would your Facebook page appear to your spouse’s lawyer? Don’t tell me you’ll never ever in a million years get divorced. Us divorced folk get a real good laugh at those kinds of statements. How about your supervisor? Your organizations? And you bet, the badges.
Then of course, there’s always the stalker thing. I, for one, am tired of having my intelligence insulted by some dumbass that claims you “just don’t add random friend requests.” It’s not quite that cut and dried. There have been several cases of people connecting with old classmates or flings that seemed completely harmless at the time. Until that one day the person in question decided to follow their target for real, based on status updates.
Am I saying everyone should dump Facebook? No. What I am saying is greater care needs to be taken with it. Protect yourself. Secure your profile, and of course, remember the stuff you’re putting up on your page, really never goes away.
We at The Throwdown have a Facebook page. There are photos, status updates and links, all regarding The Throwdown. Trust me, you won’t see Big Angry, Rantavius or myself telling you where we’re going for groceries on there. Personally, I’m not really worried anyway. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to introduce the “source” from four paragraphs ago to someone.
“JB is currently throwing down.” Status update style.