Back in the days before the Carson Daily uprising and TRL, MTV was cool. It was new, fresh and everybody under age 25 watched it. Everybody. It was edgy and had lots of great stuff on you just wouldn’t see on most of basic cable. In fact, just look up at the main header pic bar here on THE THROWDOWN. Old school MTV fans may just recognize who in fact, the cartoon eyes belong to, but I digress.
In the 1990’s MTV decided to commence the crime against humanity by launching the MTV Movie Awards. Now, at this point in history, Music Television had absolutely ZERO to do with movies. Yet, MTV was getting into producing piles of crap such as “Varsity Blues” and “Joe’s Apartment”, and they needed a bigger vehicle to show the world their brand of bullshit was coming to the big screen.
The MTV Movie Awards has always been marketed as some hipster asshole parade trying to show younger and younger generations how hip with current events they are. Take this year, for instance. Such a noble category as “Best Villain” (wow, what troglodyte came up with that award), is littered with actors from films that almost nobody saw, i.e, “Hellboy 2” and “Prom Night” and…oh yes, the now immortalized Heath Ledger. You know, just in case an award show mistakenly forgot to exploit someones death. Sure, I’ll bet Heath Ledger’s family will feel much better when he post-humanously wins a fake gold bucket of popcorn for playing a comic book psychopath.
All one really has to do is go back and look at MTV’s past award shows and view,(surprise, surprise) how many MTV Films movies came away with their own dorky trophies. This is all about promoting their own brand, peeps. They package it in a shiny wrapper that says in big, bold letters, YOU WANT TO BE COOL, LIKE US, DON’T YOU KIDS? CONFORM OR BE RIDICULED. Standard MTV behavior, really. Screw ’em. Bunch of paranoid old TV execs trying to prove they aren’t getting older by sucking the blood out of the young.
Go ahead and tune in, if you must. It’ll be a wonderful evening of propaganda aimed to tell you what to love, hate, think and speak. Don’t worry, I’m sure the assholes in suits behind the scenes, balding with their grey hair pulled back into a ponytail, won’t be laughing at the college-aged lemmings that make shit like “The Hills” popular. To them, young adults are currency. That’s alright, join in and watch the MTV Movie Awards…get used. Me? I’ll be looking for “Charmed” reruns. Out.