There are three realms of understanding in baseball, people that live outside of Chicago and think the Chicago Cubs are loved by everyone, win or lose. Chicago baseball fans, that know the Cubs are absolute failures and want nothing to do with them, and finally the Chicago Cubs fans themselves.
The Cubs fans are the most interesting of the three, for the mere fact they can’t admit their team has no chance of winning a championship ring, anytime soon. They hang giant “W” flags up, in May, no less signifying the Cubs on a winning run. They get drunk in the bleachers and sing “Go Cubs, go” while throwing other teams’ home run balls back. Yet, the most annoying item of all is Cubs fans blame a goat curse on the fact they haven’t won a championship in now an official century. Poor trades? Bah. Awful management? No way. Owners that just want people in the stands without any resemblance of a major league team? Nope, it’s all the goat curse.
What really is pathetic about this whole mess is “celebrities” such as Jim Belushi(boy, it’s a shame we lost the other Belushi, isn’t it?) and Bill Murray, who hasn’t been officially funny since Ghostbusters, still pushing the Cubs as “lovable losers”. No, B-listers, you’re wrong. Strike the word, “lovable”. It’s not cute, anymore.
Sorry Cubs fans. Concentrate on something like soccer, or beach volleyball, instead of wasting your life watching a sub-par product this summer. I’ll spare you the awful 162 game slow death you’ll face, yet again, in 2009. Lou Pinella freaks out every eight days, just trying to light a spark with the team. This always backfires. The players just go cry somewhere, it really only sparks Kleenex sales. Carlos Zambrano, the Cubs supposed pitching ace, will freak out, try to attack a teammate, and hope he will be the team rep at the All Star Game. The rest of the team will collect their respective paychecks and go to White Sox games or golf with Stan Mikita. These items all point to one thing in late September 2009 for the Chicago Cubs:
FAIL. FAIL, FAIL, FAIL.