Dear Suburbia…Stop Putting Your Couch Outside


Friends, for you that reside somewhere in suburbia, I provide  a cautionary tale.  It’s come to my attention due to being invited to entirely too many “block parties” that a disturbing trend is taking place in backyards everywhere.  Now, thanks to channels such as HGTV, dumb asses all around the country are throwing perfectly good furniture outside in a brazen attempt to “create another living space outdoors”. 

It’s the outdoors.  It belongs to us all.  When a person exits his or her living abode, they are outside.  If one would like to enjoy nature on a patio or deck with furniture, that’s all well and good.  It is not a living space.  That would invite strange scenarios that would bring the space/time continuum to it’s proverbial knees.  For example, I may want to cook something on the grill in my backyard.  My neighbor, we’ll call him Al, could then kick back on his backyard sofa and yell at me to get out of his living room.  Are you still with me?

This foolishness has gone far enough. Your living space exists inside your own home, apartment, etc.   Let’s all just leave well enough alone and let the outdoors, well, remain outdoors.  Quite frankly, I’m paying plenty of property taxes.  I don’t need the tax assessor to hit me for the rest of the planet, as well.


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Filed under Mishmosh Ranting

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